Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We named our party play list daddy issues
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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