I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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