is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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