I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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