I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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