Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
where am i from again
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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