I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize