Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
