Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
