If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
