So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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