Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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