Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
