I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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