i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
