You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
