i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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