i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
