her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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