she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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