There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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