there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
