Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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