Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
