Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
