I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
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