Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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