I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
