u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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