you have to choose: penises or morals?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
