Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Please don't give away my fajitas
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
