she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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