My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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