my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
