Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
