But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
organizing the empties. That sober.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
