just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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