hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
