Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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