C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
