John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
