but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
