He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
