All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
