you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
