So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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