her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
