Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
