he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
