well you can't waste a boner
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
