So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
