How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
