Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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