So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
