wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
