we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
