why didn't you poke me back
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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