In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
