he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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