im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
