So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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