u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
