Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
