the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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