I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
