1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize