I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
