the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We left an ass print on the piano.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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