I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
